Parody Lyrics copyright 2002 by Steven Cavanagh.
I was just wondering, scientifically
How would it work? Realistically
There's something that really doesn't quite fit to me:
What if your date was King Kong?
If you answered the door for your first blind date
to see flowers and a smile and a 50 foot ape
with hands that could squash you flat like a grape
Would the two of you get along?
Chorus:
Would you wave your arms and run screaming in terror?
Call the dating service, and say there's an error?
Say "He's really not such a bad lookin' feller"?
What if your date was King Kong?
Would he squeeze you in for a night at the opera?
take you wining and dining, and treat you real proper?
Leave you stuck on a roof while he swats at a copter?
Does he even know how to dance?
If he raved on constantly about his divorce
Had the 6:10 express for his entrée course,
Whispered sweet nothings to you at gale force
Would you say he still beats a man?
Chorus:
You know that I'm jealous that I can't compete
and you don't like guys that are only five feet
If I can't make you happy and I'm responsible
then just maybe this enormous monster will,
but how could it happen, scientifically
How would it work? Realistically
There's something that really doesn't quite fit to me
What if your date was King Kong?
Chorus:
Would you get him checked out by your local vet, or
yell and scream if he stepped on your Irish Setter
Hope he's grown up, and not a bed wetter
Or realise that I might be better?
Chorus: